Losing Yourself
by nightchildx
Summary: The connection between the two was entirely bizarre, yet so natural. After strange encounters with Gaara of the Sand, Mariko sets off to find her father's killers, completely unprepared for what lies ahead. Torture, horror, and lovely gore! Please Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**This story is not dedicated to anyone in particular, except maybe my lovely, faithful reviewers from my previous stories. I know that the beginning may confuse readers, but it will all be explained in later chapters. All the same, I sincerely hope you enjoy this, and I urge you to review. **

If you are confused about this, just remember, it will all be revealed in later chapters! But I find it hard to update if I don't get reviews. It gets me motivated, and lets me know if I should even bother writing. Thank you!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I only own my original characters and my original plot. No shit.

**PROLOGUE:** **The day of the births of Sabaku no Gaara and Shirodaira Mariko.**

Izumi was just pulling out her bedroll when an earth-shattering crash sent a shockwave, powerful enough her bring her to her knees.

"I've returned." A deep, sonorous voice announced. The greeting reverberated off the slick cave walls with an eerie ring.

"Oh really?" Izumi quipped, bringing herself to her feet. "I never would have guessed it."

The creature harrumphed, glaring down at the small figure with its strange, yellow eyes. "Now where do you get off speaking to me like that? Remember, I could annihilate you with a mere fraction of my strength."

"I haven't forgotten." she replied smugly. "Lucky for me you find me so amusing… Right, Shukaku?"

The One-Tailed demon erupted into a rumbling, boisterous laugh and treaded further into the cave, and none too gracefully at that. But for a great creature of his immense size how could one expect otherwise? A small thud and a few metallic clanks against the cavernous floor made Izumi's ears perk.

"What did you bring me then?" she inquired. "More spoils from the poor town you've ravaged today?"

"Indeed. Come and see for yourself why don't you?"

Izumi inspected the bundle of goods and discovered several canned vegetables, four loaves of bread, and dozens of instant ramen containers. A few had been crushed, or badly dented by the demon as he tried to pick them up, but none were completely ruined. Shukaku always brought home food and other edible items after a rampage. Like a dragon hoards its gold, Shukaku hoarded food, though for less selfish reasons.

Izumi chuckled. "That's a lot of food Shukaku. I don't know if I can keep up with my girlish figure; you spoil me so."

"You'd better maintain your current form, or else you won't fit into your other present."

"I beg your pardon? Other present, you said?" she asked, genuinely confused.

Shukaku merely nodded at the sack, motioning for her to check again. Izumi turned and retrieved a deep blue bundle of material out from the depths of the bag.

"Is this… a dress?" she breathed, admiring the rich blue color and soft material. "Oh Shukaku, it's beautiful! I don't know what to say!"

He snorted; "Say nothing, I just recalled you saying your current ensemble was falling to pieces and thought this would shut you up."

His words were stony, but Izumi was grateful nonetheless. "I'm going to try it on now. I'll be right back." she announced.

She gently draped the dress over her arm and settled behind a large rock formation that resembled a three-headed ghost. She stripped her current outfit and carefully pulled the silky outfit over her head. She smoothed out the fabric and stepped out to present herself to Shukaku.

"It's a bit too fancy for a girl who lives in a cave. With a legendary demon no less." She sighed and tugged at the long, skin-hugging sleeves.

"Maybe," she wondered aloud "maybe I could wear this to visit my brother. His wife is due any day now, you know."

Skukaku gave an indecipherable grunt. "Ah yes. The new baby. I don't know what you see in such ugly, loud, little beasts. I'm sure your sister-in-law will regret the thing when it's born."

"Don't say that!" Izumi cried, completely outraged at his callousness. "My soon-to-be niece will bring nothing but joy to my brother and his wife!"

The cave shook with the demon's rumbling laughter. Izumi glared indignantly. Every time she spoke passionately about something Shukaku always mocked her for it. He simply didn't take her seriously. The laughter only grew when her features scrunched into a frown, and she finally threw in the towel.

"I give up!" She threw up her hands in surrender. "I'm going outside."

Izumi stepped out into the cool, night air of the desert and exhaled in relief. What she needed was a little… joyride to get her mind off things.

She closed her eyes and let the familiar weightlessness overcome her. Her body was gently lifted in the air and a soft, iridescent light began to form over her heart, spreading to her fingertips.

It was a sight. Her entire form, though its shape remained the same, was glowing with shifting colors, the light from her translucent skin rolling off her in waves. Her hair floated behind her, appearing as if she were emerged in water.

Izumi willed herself to fly up, slowly at first, the faster as she shot out into the open desert sky, letting the cold air soothe her hot attitude. She drifted downward until her bare feet touched the sand, and she immediately extinguished her supernatural glow.

A glinting string hung in horizontally from one large rock to another, almost invisible to the naked eye.

Izumi froze. She was no kunoichi, but she recognized the ninja trap right away. It had to be a booby trap set for Shukaku. Once he stepped out of the cave and tripped the wire, who knew what would happen to him?

_There could be more_. She reasoned with herself.

Slowly, she turned in her place, straining her eyes for more traps. She spotted a second one, only a few feet from her, stretching from rock to rock. But, was that all? Izumi bent her knees hoping any remaining wires would catch the moonlight.

"Oh shit."

Dozens of wires surrounded her in clusters, in webs, and by some miracle, she had unwittingly managed to avoid them all.

The phrase "WhatdoIdowhatdoIdowhatdoIdo?" was her only passenger on her train of thought as she stood frozen in terror. She didn't dare risk flying out since the first time was just dumb luck. Should she try walking around them?

"Do I have a choice?" she muttered.

She picked up handfuls of her dress and hiked it up her thighs. She lifted one leg and gingerly stepped over the first wire. This continued for what seemed like hours, dodging and ducking until she was only a few meters from the cave entrance.

"Almost there." she huffed and crawled under another wire. "Im in the clear. Think positive. Just a few mo-"

_SNAP!_

"Oh."

In that single, brief moment before the fiery inferno that would envelope her body, she thought about her brother's baby, and how she would never have the chance to meet her.

And at the second her young life so suddenly ended, the miracle known as birth occurred.

Izumi and her newborn niece would have more in common that she imagined.

**Fourteen Years Later**

_Mariko…_

_Fire. There was fire all around her reaching high up into the sky above her head, twisting like hands desperately try to grasp the air. The air in question was thick and black with smoke, choking her with toxic fumes. The heat seared her skin, and her eyes stung with painful cinders._

_Mariko…_

_And through the flames, she saw a dark silhouette standing before two monstrous yellow orbs glaring back at her. There was a great, earth-shuddering roar, and she screamed._

"Mariko!"

"AH!" The girl shrieked and shot up bolt right. "Holy hell! Yuuta! What are you doing in my room?"

"It's past midnight. You were supposed to meet me an hour ago, you lazy cow! I had to come in through the window." the boy Yuuta hissed. "And keep your voice down. You'll wake your folks."

Mariko let out a ragged sigh and flicked on her beside lamp. "That's right. I was working all day today, and I just sort of dozed off. Good thing you came and got me though. I had that damned nightmare again."

"The one with the fire?" His brow knitted together.

She nodded. "But this time there was more. I saw a dark figure, and this giant pair of golden eyes, and it… it roared at me. Like a horror movie monster."

His concerned countenance vanished and turned into a smirk. "Must be a crappy B-rated movie."

She thwacked him with a pillow and giggled. "Stop helping." she tried to reprimand him, but her grin betrayed her.

"Whatever you say, you lazy cow." he sneered.

"Bitch. Go home." She swung her pillow at him again but he dodged it with ease.

He placed a hand over his heart, feigning offense. "Aww, and here I thought you were my best friend!"

"I mean it. Its too late to hang out now." she turned off her lamp and pointed to the open window. "Begone, Midnight Devil! And haunt me no more!"

He sighed dramatically and padded over to the window. The moonlight glared against the metal of his Suna hitai-ate. "The day after tomorrow, then. Promise?"

She rolled her eyes. "Cross my heart and hope to die."

"Stick a needle in your eye." and then he vanished out the opening without another word.

XxXxXxX

Are you sure there are no mice?" the older woman asked uncertainly. She fumbled with the hem of her apron as she watched her daughter emerge from the dusty crawlspace.

"There are no rodents in our crawlspace, Mother." Mariko repeated for the umpteenth time. "Unless you count dust bunnies."

Her mother frowned, clearly unconvinced. "Well I swear I saw vermin skitter under there a few moments ago."

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I can't stick around mom, I need to make a delivery."

"Well, on your way back, be sure to buy some mouse traps! I mean it, Mariko!"

XxXxXxX

A few hours later Mariko bounded into the kitchen, house keys in hand. "Another satisfied customer." she announced cheerily. "Have we got any new orders, Mom?"

"Matsuda-san still wants the cherry rice pudding for Thursday, and Friday we have a chocolate cake for Koyomi-san's birthday."

"Right. So lets take care of that pudding tonight, then."

My mother raised an eyebrow. "Why tonight? It's a little late, isn't it?"

She grinned. "I wanted to see Yuuta tomorrow morning. Oh, come on Mother, I haven't seen him in ages!"

"Say no more." she sighed resentfully. "That boy is always pulling you away from your work."

A frown. "Mother, please."

"Oh alright. I'm sorry."

Mrs. Shirodaira stared down at her cook book, mumbling to herself as she read on. "Oh, Mariko. It calls for a crock pot, but the new one just broke earlier today. Do me a favor sweetheart and fetch the old one from the attic, please.'

"Oh fine." she begrudgingly agreed and padded out of the kitchen.

Once in the dark confines of the attic, she began rooting through boxes in search of the fabled crock pot.

A piece of yellow hair fell in front of her face and she brushed it back with a wave of her hand. In the same motion, her hand accidentally bumped a stacked of strategically placed boxes, bringing the load down on her head.

"Ow! Crap! Ow!" she cried out, clutching her sore cranium. She eyed the heavy contents of the box with hatred. "You did this to me, you bastard."

She growled and began gathering the fallen items back in the box when she picked up a pack of photographs.

She shuffled through them, recognizing them as pictures of her father and his parents until she came across a face she did not know.

It was a young woman, perhaps a year or two older than she, standing in front of her grandparents house next to a younger version of her father.

"Did you find that crock pot yet?" her mother's disembodied voice called from below.

"Not yet." she replied, still gazing at the picture. "Hey, who's the chick in this picture?"

She climbed down the ladder and relinquished the photo to her mother. Sadness was suddenly etched into the woman's face.

"This is your Father's sister." she said quietly. "Shirodaira Izumi."

Mariko's brow knitted together. "I have an aunt? Why haven't we talked about her before?"

"She died some time ago. Your father doesn't like to talk about it." She sighed wearily and gave the print back to her daughter. "Put it away please and find that crock pot."

**Reviewers will be rewarded with a virtual cookie, and flamers will be fed to the dinosaurs. I'll update soon! Thank you for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N I am so sincerely sorry for the delay. Out of nowhere, my computer would no longer turn on, and I was stuck without internest for two weeks! Thank you for your patience!**

**A huge thank you to my first reviewers!**

Mariko's eyes snapped open in sheer panic from the reccurring nightmare that had once again kept her from slumber. Her throat was raw and her sweat-soaked pajamas clung to her skin. _Perfect way to start out your day._ She thought bitterly, and rolled out of bed.

Her aching throat screamed for water so she trudged into the bathroom. Eyes half closed with sleep, she fumbled for her water cup until the tinkling sound of shattered glass reached her ears. She swore and brushed the shards into her trash bin, earning herself tiny cuts all over her fingers.

Fed up, she turned the knob and drank straight from the faucet. She was much too stubborn to take two extra mintues to run down stairs and retrive a cup from there. Bleary-eyed, she returned to her room and checked the time.

Twenty-five minutes till Yuuta. That barely gave her time to get dressed, eat and do other daily preparations. She cursed again, and peeled of her sweaty sleepwear, replacing them with a long, dark gray shirt and capris. She brushed her cornsilk-yellow hair back into a messy bun and rushed to finish her morning routine. If she was late, she'd never hear the end of it.

XxXxXxX

"You're late." Yuuta announced when she came bounding up beside him.

"Oh my god! Yuuta! There was this huge rock, right? And I just had to climb it, because you know, that what rocks are for." Mariko spluttered, trying to search for a plausible excuse.

"You made me wait. For a rock." Yuuta said, his tone colorless, but his eyes were playful. "I'm not buying it."

Mariko sighed, defeated by the mighty Yuuta. "Alright, truth time. I woke up late. Happy?"

Yuuta snickered. "Yeah yeah. Only because you're here."

"Well, aren't I special." she stuck out her tongue. "What did you want to do today?"

"There's someone I wanted you to meet." He said mysteriously and began pulling her away be her wrist.

"Could you be anymore vague? And let go of my hand, I'm a big girl remember?" she quipped, wrenching her arm out of his grip and trailed after him.

Yuuta snorted. "Right. You can even count by twos and tie your shoes..."

They arrived at their destination only minutes later to a well-known practice arena at the other end of the village. The coloseum-like arena was empty, save for a lone figure clad in black. His back was to them, and his head was cocked upward, like he was watching the sky for something. As the two approached, he turned and waved.

"It's about time. I was about to leave." he said dryly.

"Sorry, sorry." Yuuta apologized. "We were delayed."

He threw Mariko a dirty look, to which she returned the gesture with an expression of innocence. The stranger smiled knowingly, the layer of purple face paint slightly creasing at corners of his lips.

"I assume this is Mariko." he said, his smile now suspisciously coy. Mariko made a mental note to keep an eye on where his hands went.

"Yeah, this is her. Mariko, I want you to meet Kankuro." Yuuta gestured to the sand-nin. "Remember how you wanted to see me put my puppets in action?"

For years Yuuta had been fascinated with ninja puppets, and worked with them ever since he graduated from the ninja academy of Suna. Mariko had seen his puppets up close, but being a civillian, she had never seen a live battle occur.

A mischevious grin. "Of course." she said, trying to keep the excitement in her voice to a minimum.

"Now you have the privilege to watch two puppet masters at work." Kankuro leaned in to Mariko, as if prparing to share a secret.. "Though being the elder, I think I have him beat." He winked.

She blushed, and Yuuta shooed her away, directing her to view the fight from a safer distance.

The boys went on, pulling out their puppets and engaging them in a practice scrimmage, all the while explaining the wooden effigies' inner working. Mariko watched in fascination from the sideline, watching the kunai fly and the traps devastate the arena.

XxXxXxX

Nestled between the two Sand-nin on a bench, Mariko sucked the last bit of ice cream from the bottom of the cone before popping the small waffle container into her mouth. She munched thoughtfully while tinkering with two smoothed pebbles the size of a thumbnail.

The two small, yellow rocks rolled around in her palm. They almost resembled the two frightening orbs from her nightmares. They almost looked like the eyes of a demon. She shut her eyes tight, trying to blot out the terrifying memory when Yuuta's voice broke her focus.

"Mariko!"

She nearly jumped out of her skin. "What?"

"You were in a trance. What's wrong with you?" Yuuta's brow was creased with worry.

"Yeah, was the puppet show too much for you?" Kankuro smirked. "I know my skills can be overwhelming at first."

She snorted derisively. "Sure, that was it."

But Yuuta still frowned. "I don't like it when you stare off into space. What were you thinking about?"

She bit her lip and glanced back down at her palm. "It's just that dream I keep having. It keeps getting worse. And those freaky yellow eyes won't go away."

Beside her, Kankuro tensed. Immediately his thoughts went to his younger brother, Gaara. The Kazekage of the Hidden Sand, and host to the One-Tail, the only thing he knew with such bizzare attributes.

"Is that really what's bothering you? A dream?"

Mariko scowled. "You wouldn't understand. You didn't see them. Look." She suddenly grabbed Yuuta's hand and forced the two pebbles into them. She rose from the bench and knelt to the ground, dragging her finger through the sand. "They were definitely eyes, two of them, one pair. They were a golden color, but the pupils weren't round. They were diamond shaped- like this!"

She leaned back to reveal her imitation of the very thing that so recently stalked her in her sleep. The two boys were silent.

"Well damn!" Yuuta finally said, scratching his head. "That's fuckin' creepy."

Kankuro licked his lips in apprehension. "You say you saw this in a dream?"

"I know, I know. I can't believe my subconscious came up with this." she shuddered.

The elder shinobi stood abruptly. "I need to head on. I've got to uh, repair Crow here." He nodded to the human-sized pupped slung across his back. "The match was great, Yuuta. Maybe we can do it again soon."

"Okay, well, it was nice to-" Mariko began, but the Sand-nin already disappeared in a puff of vapor. "...meet you?"

XxXxXxX

**Seven years earlier...**

_Two lone figures stood side by side under a setting sun, amid the rooftops of Suna. The sweltering heat of the day had begun to cease, and the dry air was laden with blended voices and roaming people in the streets below. A trickle of a breeze swept through the air, blowing the smaller figure's corn-silk-yellow hair into her face._

_"Tell me more about Celestial Fire, Daddy."_

_"Well, you've seen how I focus the multi-colored chalkra into my hands and form it into any shape I want. When I do that, I can make any weapon I want. It can cut through just about anything."_

_"And what about those weird feelings I get when I touch people? It's almost like I know what they're thinking about."_

_"It's called empathy." he explained. "With one touch, you can tap into their emotions and experience them first-hand. It can be very dangerous though. Extreme feelings can seriously dampen your powers since the Celestial Fire's source is from your own emotions."_

_"So, if for some reason, I'm under extreme stress, or if I touch someone who's so emotionally screwed up, I can't access my kekkei genkai?"_

_"Exactly. That's how a few of our family members were killed in battle."_

_"What else can we do with it?"_

_He chewed on his bottom lip for a moment while in thought. "Well, there _is_ one thing about Celestial Fire we can do. But by _we_, I mean there's only been two others in our family who've reached this level.__"_

_"WELL? What is it?" she tapped her foot impatiently._

_"The Fire can envelope your entire body and make you impervious to harm. The Celestial Shield. You can even fly."_

_"Bullshit."_

_He scowled. "Watch your mouth, young lady."_

_"Why can only two other people tap into this gift? Why can't all the Shirodaira clan?"_

_"I'm not sure. I guess it's just a rare blessing."_

_"I just don't see why I have to learn this if I'm not even a ninja." the girl mumbled. "I bet I can't even do that Shield thingy."_

_The man groaned and ran his hands through his salt-and-pepper hair. If the missions didn't kill him, the ridiculous amount of stress he recieved at home would. "I just don't want to see our kekkei gankai be lost forever. You're the only child left in the Shirodaira line, and if your children become shinobi one day, then they'll have this power to rely on."_

_She sighed begrudgingly. "Fine, Daddy. Lets just get this over with"_

_"Thank you. Now do as I've instructed. Conjur your power again. Focus the chalkra into your hands."_

_The girl exhaled slowly and shut her eyes. Inwardly she felt a warm bubbling in the pit of her stomach that traveled up her body and spread to her fingertips. She felt lighter somehow, almost like she would be blown away, even by the smallest of winds. _

_"I think I feel it." She announced. "Daddy, it feels funny."_

_"Just focus." he urged gently._

_The warmth grew stronger, but it didn't burn. In fact, it felt... soothing. Like when her mother kissed her goodnight and hummed a lullabye. The seven year old's body slackened and her eyes fluttered open. "Daddy, did I do it?"_

_But her father just stared, his mouth slightly agape. "Mariko..." He breathed in awe. And then he began to laugh. It was quiet at first, just a giggle. Then it was much, much louder, riotous and harsh. But it wasn't happy._

_The young girl's eyebrows knitted together. Something was wrong. She had never seen him look so strange. "Daddy, did I do it wrong? Daddy?"_

XxXxXxX

"Why do you have to leave already? You just got back the other day!" Mariko whined.

"Kazekage's orders. So stop pestering me about it." Her father quipped and adjusted his hitai-ate. "I know you're worried. I can sense it. but it's just a simple reconnasiance. Hardly any danger at all."

Mariko huffed. "Yeah right. People die on those missions too."

"Just say a prayer for me. I'll come back, safe and sound. _I promise_."

**A/N Oh really, Daddy? Anyway, please oh please oh please review! If there's anything you'd like to see happen, let me know.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any works by The Dresden Dolls.**

**A/N We finally have a little Gaara action in this chapter! I hope you enjoy it! Please review! Thirty seconds is all it takes!**

**Oh, and many thanks to my reviewers. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. :]**

_Two halves are equal_  
_a cross between two evils_  
_it's not an enviable lot_  
_but if you listen_  
_you'll learn to hear the difference_  
_between the halves and the half nots_

_and when i let him in i feel the stitches getting sicker_  
_i try to wash him out but like they say, "the blood is thicker..."_  
_i see my mother in my face_  
_but only when i travel_  
_i run as fast as i can run_  
_but jack comes tumbling after_

_~Half Jack by the Dresden Dolls_**  
**

Mariko sat slumped in her chair, head down and buried in her folded arms at the kitchen table. She hardly spared a glance when Yuuta entered her kitchen that morning. With one look at her tired face, he sucked in his breath sharply.

"Kami, you look like hell."

She snorted. "Screw you very much."

"No really, did you get any sleep last night?"

"Pfft. Hardly. I don't even think I need to tell you the reason why." She grumbled, her face still buried in her arms.

"Nightmares?"

"Very good, Sherlock."

He scoffed. "I see your wit hasn't been impaired." He pulled a chair out across from her and seated himself. "Mind if I have this?" he asked, grabbing an apple from a wicker basket in the middle of the table.

She still didn't look up. "Go nuts."

He bit in and chewed thoughtfully. "Y'know," he said between bites "This bad dream business has gotta stop. It's driving you to distraction. I mean, you should see your face."

Finally, she lifted her head and glowered at the boy through narrowed eyes. "Is there some particular reason why you're here?" She growled. "It's pretty fucking early for your annoying sense of humor."

"Actually there is a reason." He took another bite from his apple and leaned back in his chair, munching slowly.

It didn't appear that he was planning on giving her any information anytime soon. She stared at him impatiently, waiting. "_Today_, Yuuta."

He swallowed and looked at her in mock surprise. "Oh, sorry, did you want to know _now_? My bad."

"Out with it."

"Well, I just wanted to tell you that we recieved word late last night via messenger hawk that the reconnasiance mission to the Land of Earth was successful and your father is coming home by tomorrow."

A bright smile appeared on her face. "Good."

"Thought that'd make you smile." he nodded. Another crunch. "Well, I hate to eat and run, but I've got somewhere to be."

"Running out on me, eh? You two-timer." she sneered. "Just go."

He chuckled and pushed in his chair. "See ya."

It was three days later when the reconnasiance mission still had yet to return. Concerns of an ambush had arisen, and another team was dispatched to investigate. For two days, Mariko and her mother worked endlessly in the kitchen, filling orders to keep their mind off of their worries. Though neither woman said a word about it, both had an unsettling feeling sitting heavily in their hearts.

Kankuro was the one to deliver the news. He came to their home early in the morning, alone. Mariko was at the top of the stairs, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as her mother answered the door.

He spoke to her quietly. "Shirodaira Asagi?" Her mother nodded. "I'm with the team that was sent out to find your husband's squad the other day. I'm afraid I have some bad news."

"He's dead, isn't he?" her mother deadpanned.

"After the messenger hawk was sent to us with word of their return, they were ambushed by rogue ninja. " he said. "I'm so sorry for your loss."

Then he left. Mrs. Shirodaira shut the door without a word. She was very still for a good, long time, facing the door, remaining silent as the grave. Mariko did the same from her position at the stairs, quiet and unmoving, until finally a sob choked out of her mother.

For a moment, Mariko watched her mother weep. Then, she turned around, walked back to her room, and shut the door. She did not cry.

At the funeral for the five dead sand-nin, she remained tight-lipped and dry-eyed throughout the entire eulogy. It was a considerably large ceremony. Even the Kazekage and Kankuro attended, much to Mariko's surprise.

Growing up, she had heard the rumors about the young red-head, about how he was a monster in the skin of a little boy. Things that would freeze your blood and send shivers down your spine. But she never cared for such stories.

The funeral went by with a blur, or at least that's how it was for Mariko. She only tuned in and out of people's speeches, and barely gave attention to the people who would walk by and offer their condolences.

One by one, they all gave her sad, pitying looks, and shakes of their head thinking: _"Oh, that poor, poor girl."_ It was infuriating. She didn't need their pity. And she certainly didn't want it. But all the same, she nodded courteously and thanked them for attending.

"Kankuro told me you might want this." said a quiet voice from behind her. She turned to see the Kazekage himself extend his arm, holding a hitai-ate out to her.

For a moment, Mariko stared at him blankly into his seafoam-green eyes, not realizing why she would possibly want it. "_It must be my father's_." she reasoned.

"Thank you Kazekage-sama." she said, bowing slightly, her voice a bit raspy. "And thank you for coming."

Gingerly, she reached for it. The slightest brush of her fingers against his skin, and a small tremor went through him. The forehead-protector slipped and fell, hitting the ground with a small, mettalic _clink._

Mariko knelt to pick it back up. "Oh, um, that's okay." she said softly, brushing of the dirt. Her gaze returned to the red-headed leader. Her grip tightened in a moment of fear.

_"His eyes," _she thought in terror "_did they just... change?"_ Another look at him revealed his normal pale green orbs, disproving her theory.

But there _was_ something different. His expression was unreadable, but it wasn't blank and emotionless like before.

She found the courage to speak. "K-Kazekage-sama? Is somthing wrong?"

He blinked. "No."

"Oh, well," she searched for something to say, but eloquence evaded her. "Al-alright then." She half expected him to say something more, but the wait was cut short.

"Mariko-san," Kankuro appeared beside her "your mother is looking for you."

"Oh, thank you. "She bowed once again to Gaara. "Goodbye."

She walked off, half confused, half relieved to escape from such an unusually awkward situation. She could almost feel the Kazekage's eyes boring holes into her retreating back; eyes that she could have sworn were once a terrible gleaming gold.

XxXxXxX

_"Mom's sick again."_ Mariko told herself, when the sound of gagging came from the bathroom across the hall. "_Sixth time this week since the funeral."_

She found her mother slumped on the bathroom floor, her face a sickly shade of green. Mariko sighed. "When is the doctor going to call back?"

"He's supposed to call me tonight." she said weakly.

"Not good enough. Lets just get you cleaned up."

"No, no, you know how easily you get sick." she shook her head. "I can walk fine, just go finish making that icing for me, will you?"

The icing was easy enough to make. Just a little baking chocolate and some butter and sugar over heat and she was done in just minutes. She waited for the mixture to cool on the counter, and began to clean up the rest of her mess when the phone rang.

It rang a few more times, before her mother finally picked it up in the other room. She sat patiently in the kitchen for a few minutes, knowing it was the doctor with whatever results they had been waiting for. Eventually, Mrs. Shirodaira entered the kitchen, her expression maddeningly unreadable. She slowly sank into a chair. She didn't speak.

"...What did the doctor say? It is some stomach bug?" Mariko asked uncertainly.

"No. He says I'm pregnant."

Mariko's jaw dropped. Could she be any more blunt? "And Dad is... the dad, _right_?"

She stared at her daughter, clearly horrified. "Of course he is!" she hissed. "How can that even cross you mind?"

"I'm sorry, I just... I'm a little overwhelmed. Nevermind. I'm going to bed."

"Don't you want to talk about this?" her mother called after her. "For, you know, closure?"

"Let me sleep on it."

She climbed the stairs, feeling numb to the world. Once her head hit the pillow, she was out like a light.

_Fire. Just like all the other dreams there were twisting flames reaching for her, licking up her legs. She choked on the thick, black smoke that billowed around her, filling her lungs and holding her down like lead._

_Golden eyes, glaring back at her, growing bigger and bigger. She stumbled back, thrashing her arms in defense, when she tripped over something soft. It was a small shape, definitely human. A girl, infact, lying facedown on the ground. She wore a dark blue dress that was was deep as the ocean. She was still._

_"Get up!" Mariko screamed. "You've got to get up! It's coming!"_

_With all her effort she rolled the body over and shrieked. The girl's face was charred black, beyond recognition. Blood oozed down her skin and soaked into the midnight blue dress._

_Mariko stared in terror and intense sadness when the dead girl's hand shot up, wrapping around her wrist and whispered "I'm burning, Mariko! Look at me!"_

"NO!"

She woke up on the floor, tangled in her sheets and drenched in sweat. She groaned and picked herself up. It was still dark out, probably the early morning. She stood and walked out into the hall, making her way for the parent's room.

She opened the door a crack and peaked in, finding her mother curled up in bed, clearly asleep. She didn't have the heart to wake her, so she returned to her own room and flopped down into bed.

"_A baby. A little human child. Lose one family member, and gain another. God must have a strange sense of humor._" She reached into her pocket and produced her father's hitai-ate.

_The Fire can envelope your entire body and make you impervious to harm. The Celestial Shield. You can even fly._

"You still want me to learn?" she said aloud. "Still want me to fly?"

She stared at it, as if was supposed to say something back. But, as expected, it did not answer.

"I'll do it."

**A/N Wow, spooky dream, huh? Thanks for reading! Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks so much to my lovely reviewers! As always, I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the others! No Gaara in this chapter until the very end. He'll be paticipating alot more in my next chapter though, so be excited people!**

_Out among the stars I sail,  
way beyond the moon  
in my silver ship i sail  
a dream that ended to soon  
now I know exactly who I am,  
and what I'm here for  
and I will go sailing no more_

_All the things I thought I'd be,_  
_all the brave things I'd done_  
_vanished like a snowflake,_  
_with the rising of the sun_  
_never more to sail my ship,_  
_where no man has gone before_  
_and I will go sailing no more_

_No, it can't be true_  
_I could fly if I wanted to_  
_like a bird in the sky,_  
_I believe I can fly_  
_why I'd fly_

_Clearly now, I will go sailing, no more_

~I Will Go Sailing No More by Randy Newman

Her daily routine was undeniably monotonous: Wake up each morning after recurring nightmares of yellow eyes and scorched corpses and spend long hours in the kitchen working in her mother's stead since her current condition often kept the poor woman in bed most of the day. Then, if she was lucky, Yuuta would stop by to pester her some more about being a shut-in. The idiot even brought Kankuro over in a petition of sorts to coax her out of the house.

"You can't stay in this house forever, Mariko. You've got your whole life ahead of you!" Yuuta said.

She scoffed. "What is this, an intervention? I'm not some deadbeat drunk who's throwing their life away! I'm just taking care of my mother."

"I never called you a drunk, I just don't think it's healthy for you to spend every waking moment in this house!"

"I don't spend every second of my life in this house! I go out to get things for my mother, or to buy groceries!" she argued.

"Errands don't count! You don't do anything anymore that makes you remotely happy!" Yuuta's voice grew louder "I'm sick and tired of this self-sacrificing crap! It's complete bullshit!"

Kankuro, who turned out to be no help at all, lingered in the doorway, simply observing. "Do you two _ever_ agree on anything?" he asked.

"No!" Yuuta shouted. "It's part of our charm! Quit fuckin' it up!"

Mariko fumed. It had been a long time since she felt this angry. It had been along time since she'd really felt anything since her father's death, and she wasn't particularly pleased that anger would be the one emotion to break the spell. Or was the anger really hers? She couldn't really think of a reason to be angry with Yuuta, even though he was being a righteous idiot. Perhaps it was her empathy picking up on Yuuta's fury and assimilating it as her own. Whomever the volatile emotion belonged to, she still wanted Yuua to leave.

"You're not being fair. I can't help that my mother is pregnant and sick." An edge crept into her voice. "And incase you forgot, my father just died. I'm not exactly in the mood for sunshine and lollipops. And if you don't get the hell out of my house in the next six seconds, you're a dead man, Yuuta."

For once, Yuuta did what she asked. He stalked out of the house without another word, Kankuro close behind him. He was sorry he let Yuuta drag him into this mess, and he was sorry he couldn't think of anything meaningful to say to Mariko. Not that he was a sentimental guy, but if he thought he could help, he would.

XxXxXxX

For one thing, Yuuta was absolutely wrong when he came to the assumption that Mariko had never stepped foot outside her home in several weeks. He was also wrong in assuming she no longer participated in any activity she enjoyed. In fact, Mariko _liked_ practicing Celestial Fire. It gave her purpose, and it kept her mind off her atrocious nightmares. Though she had been at it for weeks since her mother dropped the baby bomb on her and she vowed to learn how to activate the next level of Celestial Fire.

She was always drawn to the roof whenever she went off to practice her Bloodline-Limit. She reasoned that, because her father always took her up there as a child, it only seemed like the proper place to do it. Like it was the _only_ place to do it.

"Alright," she told herself "just focus." She shut her eyes and concentrated chalkra into her hands.

It wasn't long before she felt it. It was working. I was _actually_ working! She giggled gleefully, feeling the warmth pulse through her. She cracked open an eye, no longer able to hold her excitement.

Nothing had changed. No glowing light in her hands, and no fantastic, indestructible weapon had formed. Her heart sank with disappointment, and the warmth she felt vanished. She suddenly felt completely drained of energy, like if she took another step, she'd collapse from exhaustion. She swayed, losing balance.

She forced herself to sit down, trying to collect her remaining strength. "_Take it easy_." she told herself _"Just give yourself a moment._" Eventually, she pulled herself up and made her way down the stairs. She ended up in the kitchen where she spotted a load of dishes she had neglected to clean. She hissed in annoyance. Just one more thing to do today, and she could finally rest.

She stood over the sink, tiredly washing the remaining pots and pans left from that roast she prepared earlier that day. She didn't notice her mother had plodded into the kitchen, looking for a midnight snack. She glanced at her daughter with worry.

"Are you alright?" she questioned softly, coming up beside her at the sink. Her mother's bright brown eyes filled with concern as she looked her up and down.

"Why are you still up?" Mariko fired a question of her own, scrubbing away at the pot. She took a while to answer, as if she couldn't decide why she had come down in the first place.

"I had a craving." she told her. She eyed her for a few moments, studying her young face. "You look exhausted."

"I am," Mariko muttered, shaking the water off her hands. A few droplets splashed onto her mother's face. "Sorry, Mom."

"It's fine," she assured her, rubbing away the droplets. "You've been working so hard today. Why don't you go get some sleep?"

"Let me finish up the dishes, and I'll go." Suddenly, Mariko's hand flew to her mouth, her entire upper body seemed to convulse as she coughed. Her mother placed her hand worriedly on her back. When she finally stopped coughing, Mrs. Shirodaira's cool hand switched to her forehead.

"You have a fever, Sweetheart. Why don't I finish these. You go get some rest." she said gently.

Mariko nodded miserably, and complied without question. She kneaded her eyes with her knuckles and trudged off to bed. Too exhausted to bother changing into her night shirt, she collapsed into bed, face first. There was no nightmare that night.

XxXxXxX

She didn't feel much better the next morning, but made an attempt to soldier on anyway. Her efforts were put down by her mother, and was sentenced to bed. She lay down until noon, fighting off boredom with books and old magazines. That was when Yuuta showed up.

Instead of the usual intrusion via window, the sand-nin actually knocked on the front door for Mariko's mother to answer. She led him up to her daughter's bedroom, knocking softly on the door.

"Mariko? You've got a visitor." she sang. "Are you decent?"

Mariko pulled her sheets up to her chin and nestled back into her pillow. "Yeah. Come in." she called. The door slid open and the young shinobi crossed the threshold.

"I come bearing gifts." he exclaimed, raising a bouquet of bright, butter-yellow flowers to the level of his eyes. "Please don't bite my head off."

She smiled, sensing both his guilt and sincerity. "Take a seat." she said, pointing to her desk chair. She glanced at her mother. "We're good now, Mom. Thanks."

The older woman nodded and shut the door quietly. Mariko waited for her footsteps so fade down the hall before she spoke. "Lemme see those flowers." she commanded. Yuuta walked over to her side and handed over the floral arrangement. She smiled and gently stroked a soft, buttery petal. "State your business."

Yuuta's smile was twisted and wry. "You just can't make anything easy for me, can you?"

"No." she said casually, shaking her head. "If you've got something to say, say it. I'm lying on my death bed here."

The boy sighed and rolled his eyes. "Drama queen. You're really gonna give me hell about this?" She ignored him and continued to examine the flowers. He groaned. "I'm here because I wanted to say 'I'm sorry.'"

"You're sorry and _what_?"

"I'm sorry and I'm a crap friend for freaking out on you yesterday." he finished, bowing his head.

"You're forgiven." she said evenly. She shifted a bit, feeling a bit remorseful herself. "And I'm sorry if I was being unreasonable."

He shook his head. "No, no, it's all on me this time. I just wanted to get this off my chest before I leave again." She looked at him sideways. "I mean on a mission." he added hastily.

Mariko pursed her lips. "Oh." was all she said.

"..Right. Well, I've got to leave now. My team is going to head off in half an hour." he scratched his head. "Enjoy the flowers."

She just smiled and lifted her colorful gift a little higher. He exited her little room, leaving a sense of emptiness hanging in the air. Mariko huffed. She was glad to have cleared the air with Yuuta, but for some reason, she couldn't help but feel disappointed.

She sighed again and got up to put her flowers in some water before the desert heat made them wilt. She placed a clear, glass vase on her desktop and crawled miserably back into bed. It wasn't long before her mother appeared again, this time with a steaming bowl of ramen.

"Thought you'd be hungry by now." she said cheerily. "Feeling any better, dear?"

She shrugged. "I guess. I think my fever's gotten better. Will you feel my head?"

Mrs. Shirodaira set the bowl down and placed pressed the her hand to the girl's forehead. "I think it's gone, actually. Drink your soup and we'll see tomorrow."

Mariko nodded and her gaze flicked to her mother's abdomen. It was already growing round, and the material of her mother's dress was clinging tight around her belly. Her mother didn't seem to notice her stare and turned to leave.

XxXxXxX

It was eleven o'clock at night when she just couldn't stand it any longer. Itching to move her legs, Mariko threw off her covers and began pacing mindlessly around her room. Every little creaking floorboard and _drip drop_ from the leaky faucet down the hall made her cringe. Her very pulse beating in her brain was enough to drive her to distraction.

"I've got to get out of this house!" she said, nearly in hysterics, and tore out of the room. Still in her pajamas, she made her way back up to the roof, gulping down the cool air as soon as it hit her face.

She was going to wipe her mind of all the emotional burdens the best way she knew how: practice her kekkei genkai. Standing very still in the middle of the roof, she wrenched her eyes shut and held her hands out in front of herself, palms facing up.

"Focus you chalkra." she commanded "Focus your chalkra, you panzy-ass loser!"

The familiar warmth started to beat evenly from her core, but she didn't break her focus yet. Harder and harder she pushed, all the while thoughts of her father, her one and only _daddy _fueled her efforts. Then thoughts of Yuuta, and her mother. And then the baby.

What felt like a small, gentle breath of wind brushed across her skin and she suddenly felt lighter than air. Mariko didn't dare open her eyes yet, unwilling to make the same mistake she did last time. She was so unsure of herself, but something this time felt different.

Praying to whichever god was listening she wrenched opened her eyes, and cried out with utter delight. Crying with delirious joy she lifted her hands before her face, drinking in the beautiful light than rolled off her and disappeared in wisps and waves, like a candle flame in the wind. Her skin was translucent, with pulsing and shifting colors of all shades. She glanced downat her feet, which were now suspended in the air.

In all her excitement, she very nearly forgot that with the Celestial Shield, comes the ability to _fly_.

"Okay, okay, how do I make this work?" she said aloud "Do I say 'up', or does it just do whatever I feel?"

She bit her bottom lip and gazed upward, brainstorming about how exactly she was going to control her gift when she shot up four feet in the air. She shrieked and her sudden ascension ceased, leaving her hovering in mid-air.

"Holycrapholycrapholycrap!" she gasped in terror. When her brain finally registered that she was safe, she finally relaxed, exhaling deeply.

"_Okay,_" she tried to reason "_maybe if I just think about the direction where I want to fly, it'll automatically happen_." She swallowed and willed herself upward. _Slowly_.

And sure enough, her body gently rose higher and higher until she told herself to stop. She halted on a dime. A wide grin spread from ear to ear. A cackle of joy escaped her lips and she faced the sky once again.

"_Go!_"

From his tower, the Kazekage watched an alarmingly bright, luminescent young girl he had only been acquainted with once launch herself into the sky from her village rooftop, and sail out among the stars towards the open desert.


	5. Chapter 5

**As always, a huge thank you to my reviewers! You make the world go round! I apologize profusely for not updating this sooner. I just wasn't feeling this story, and I didn't want to half-ass it instead of not updating. The quality is what matters in my opinion. Tons of Gaara in this chapter. Enjoy!**

Mariko's speed sky-rocketed, a streak of multi-colored chakra was left in her wake, much like a comet's tail. She leaned forward, descending in a tight curve. The desert floor grew closer and closer and she flew downward, slowing a bit to ease her landing.

She hovered a few feet above the sandy carpet, hoping to ease herself down. "Gently..." she warned herself. "Gent-AHH!"

As if her kekkei genkai had decided to develop a sense of humor, the light suddenly extinguished itself. The laws of gravity naturally applied themselves, and Mariko dropped like a rock. The landing was neither soft, nor pleasant.

She hissed in pain and clutched her newly twisted ankle. Dozens of obscenities flew from her mouth, her eyes beginning to sting with little grains of sand picked up by the wind.

"Great, now I'm crippled _and_ blind." she muttered, simultaneously kneading her eyes and cradling her hurt ankle. "I'm so screwed."

She could have slapped herself right then if she wasn't already in pain. "_Idiot._" she thought "_You can just fly home. It'll hurt, but at least you won't have to walk back._"

Eyes still watering, she once again summoned her kekkei genkai. It wouldn't come. Her mind began to race. What was happening? Why wasn't it working? She did exactly what she did before, didn't she? What if she kept trying and it _still _wouldn't work?

She tried again. And again. The only thing that changed was her amount of energy. Every time she felt even the tiniest bubble of warmth, it dissolved completely, and she grew weary. She sighed in utter defeat and fell over.

She laid the motionlessly, her dismay growing by the second. More sand blew into her eyes and she wrenched them shut. "_The wind's picking up,_" she thought "_it's getting stronger._"

Mariko shivered and forced open her eyes. A billowing blanket of sand approached, spawning an incomparable sense of dread and panic in her heart. A sandstorm. Of all times.

_"I'm going to die here."_ she realized "_I'm going to die today. I'll never get to see that baby."_

She couldn't stop her shallow breathing, nor the staccato beat of her heart. All she could do was shut her eyes and wait to welcome her rapidly approaching death. Her pulse pounded in her ears, or maybe it was the wind that deafened her, she couldn't really tell.

The air was suddenly still and suspiciously silent, like someone had placed a glass jar over her, blocking out all air currents and sounds. She waited. She couldn't be dead yet, she reasoned. She certainly didn't _feel_ dead. Yet, she had no explanation for the impossibly sudden shift in the weather.

Her eyes opened to a dark nothingness. I died, she blandly concluded. That was the only way she could really put it. Nothing tragically poetic came to mind. Eloquence abandoned her. And she was very, very sleepy…

She was no longer conscious by the time she realized that dead people couldn't grow tired. They _were_ dead after all. But in your sleep, things aren't rationalized like that, so all was forgotten in a blur of images and sound that were her dreams. When one achieves consciousness after a long, deep sleep, it always takes a moment for one to realize that they no longer in dream land and for the briefest of seconds are quite confused, trying to decipher fantasy from reality. Imagine that miniscule second of terror and magnify it by ninety-seven in both length of time, and intensity of emotion. That was Mariko's life for about six minutes when she awoke in the hospital wing.

Her head was on fire and the room was relentlessly rocking and swaying. Her stomach lurched and she began to dry-heave. A medic quickly attended to her and after a while the nausea stopped and the headache dulled considerably. She tried to grab the attention of a nurse, but to no avail. Not a soul would answer her questions. Mariko lay in bed again, wondering if her mother knew she was here. Of course, this wasn't the only questions she had, but it was the one that worried her least.

She was fortunate enough to have her own room, but the silence was starting to gnaw at her, and naturally she became restless. She persuaded a nurse to bring her some paper and a pencil so she could doodle a bit.

She drew everything that was on her mind. There was a little baby, her father's hitai-ate, and the demon eyes that plagues her dreams. It was relieving to say the least. She placed the drawings on her side table and stretched a bit.

The door opened without warning and she flopped back into her pillow. Her eyes went wide with genuine surprise as a young man with brick-red hair walked into the room.

She sat herself up once more. "Kazekage-sama?"

"Mariko-san." He replied flatly. "It is good you are awake."

She shrugged. That was one way of putting it. "Yes, I suppose so. Can you… can you tell me what happened?"

"Last night I saw I saw a bright light like a star shoot out into the desert. My first thought was that it could be a threat, so naturally I followed. But who should I find but you, injured and out cold in the middle of an oncoming sandstorm." There was a small tone in his voice that appeared suspicious.

Mariko flushed a bit at this. So Gaara-sama had saved her? She pulled the white sheets off and swung her legs over the side. "K-kazekage-sama, I don't now what to say except-" Her knees suddenly gave out from under her and she collapsed on the cold linoleum.

Immediately Gaara was at her side, effortlessly lifting her back onto the bed. Her face flushed red at his touch. "Thank you."

He merely nodded, but there was a troubled look about him. He was looking past her, staring down something with those sea-green glass eyes. She twisted to see what was so important that he couldn't look her in the eye.

"Did you draw that?" he asked suddenly, nodding at the top sheet of her doodles that displayed the great yellow eyes.

She blinked. "Yes. I think they're supposed to be eyes."

The dark circles that already lined his eyes seemed to grow darker with worry, the first real emotion that she could clearly read from him, even with her empathic gift. She bit her lip. It was never a good sign when your country's leader had something to fear. Then it dawned on her;

"You know."

His eyes were fixed on hers, but he did not answer. She pressed him again. "I've had dreams about those eyes. Horrible nightmares. You know something. I can see it in your face."

For a long minute he remained silent, all the while Mariko prayed in her head that he would cave and tell her the truth. And finally he nodded. "I will tell you what I know. But not here. Tomorrow night in my tower is better. Kankuro will escort you."

She nodded in agreement, barely containing her apprehension. The red-headed shinobi left without another word.

Mariko was discharged the next morning, and was escorted home by her Mother. Oddly, the pregnant widow made little effort to chastise her daughter. Oly a panicked embrace after she was assured of her daughter's safety, and a forced promise to never frighten her like that ever again. The rest of the day went by with unusual tension, as Mariko scoured the house for any sort of chore to fill her time.

She was ready to explode by the time it started to get dark.

XxXxXxX

Mariko and Kankuro stood outside the Kazekage's office in silence. Every once in a while the black-clad sand-nin cast a few glances in her direction as if trying to decide what to say.

Eventually a kunoichi with her hair pinned up into four blond pigtails exited the office and gave a curt nod to Kankuro.

Kankuro stood and swept out his arm in the "after you" gesture. Mariko licked her lips and walked hesitantly into the room, having no clue as to what she should expect. She found Gaara at a large, handsome desk, deeply engrossed in paperwork. It wasn't until Kankruo addressed his brother did the teen raise his head.

"Thank you Kankuro." He nodded.

Kankuro bowed and turned to leave. He gave Mariko one last wary glance before he left for good.

She let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding in. "Hello, kazekage-sama." She bowed lightly.

"You are here for an explanation." He spoke tonelessly.

"I'm here for the truth." She corrected. "Will you give it to me?"

"I will tell you what I know." He said it without hesitation or uncertainty.

"Okay. Shoot."

She watched him draw in a deep breath. "It should be no surprise that people fear me. Since my birth, there has been a tailed demon sealed inside of me that gives me a terrible power. He is called Shukaku."

A tremor ran down the girl's spine at the name. It seemed terribly haunting and familiar.

He continued. "It appears that whenever I touch you, Shukaku reacts violently, and I struggle to keep him under control. As to why he behaves this way toward you is unclear, but I do sense that… he knows you."

Mariko's blood froze, and her spine stiffened. Knew her? In what way? How in God's name could she ever be familiar with a monster like that? She swallowed.

"That still doesn't explain my dreams."

Gaara lowered his head. "When I noticed your drawing in the hospital of the two yellow eyes, I knew for sure there was a deeper connection than I thought. Those eyes… they are the demon's eyes. Shukaku's eyes."

"As to why they are in your dreams, I do not know. I intend to look into it, but I'm so overwhelmed in this paperwork I'm not sure it will be soon."

Mariko stared down at her feet, feeling her chilled blood creep its way through her veins. "Will you… will you let me know the moment you find something? Anything?"

She glanced up to find Gaara's eyes fixed on her, with an expression that was something akin to remorseful. Suddenly the room seemed too small, and Mariko wished she had something to hold on to as he stared her down.

"Kazekage-sama?" she spoke timidly.

He came out of his daze. "I will have Kankuro summon you if I discover anything."

Mariko spared him a small smile and bowed. "Thank you, Kazekage-sama." She was not entirely relieved, but even this small bit of knowledge that Gaara was on her side certainly sparked hope.

The Jinchuuriki was left to himself in his tower, where the attention that should have been spared on his paperwork was spent instead on the young girl whose past was enigmatically intertwined with his own.

**I know I should have made this longer to make up for the wait, but I really wanted to put this up. I'm finally starting to get the hang of this particular story. Knock on wood.**


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